that boring cold state full of rednecks

I know what you’re thinking, why would you want to live in that state? Well, I am here to tell you why.  Just imagine this.  You arrive at your new house to see the ever famous sold sign.  I can bet my bottom dollar that you are going to take a picture next to that sign, but make sure that you smile big and say cheese, because you just moved into your beautiful new house in central Wisconsin!

Why would you want to move to Wisconsin? Well, my friend, I have just the answer you’re looking for.  I know you think that Wisconsin is a boring, cold state with nothing to do, but think again!

You should move to Wisconsin because…….

CHEESE!

You can get the freshest and best cheese from the cheese factory that’s right down the street from your house, no matter where you live. 

Oh, you’re lactose intolerant? That’s okay! You don’t have to eat the cheese, you can just look at it!

At almost any town festival you will find a cheese carving competition!

Did I just hear you correctly? You think that lady, who is obviously made out of cheese, is attractive? Well you are going to love the women in Wisconsin.  Not only are they beautiful, but most of them know how to milk a cow, change a tire, and prepare a giant feast.  You can find a perfect hunting partner in Wisconsin!

Ahhh, you think that there is no place to meet these women because of all of the fields and woods, don’t you? Well, I’m sorry but you’re wrong. 

Wisconsinites have a great social life.  You want an example now don't you? Hmmm, well in my town my graduating class was mere 49 people.  My town and all of the towns surrounding me had very tight knit communities.   There are always games (Wisconsinites are huge sports fans, Go Pack Go!), festivals, and parks for you to go to.

I see you finished your beer.  Let me get you another one, and I have you know that Wisconsin has plenty of bars.  The small and common tiny Wisconsin town that I live in only has 981 people inhabiting it.  Our main street is about three blocks long and consists of a bank, a grocery store, the post office, a gas station, a cheese factory, and five bars.  You seem shocked! Yes, I know, the small Wisconsin towns are the ideal places to bar hop!

And since you’ll know practically everybody in your town, you can always count on somebody to drive you home from a night of fun so you can curl up in your bed and enjoy a nice glass of milk. 

You’re still caught up on the snow? Let me tell you something.  It’s beautiful! Since Wisconsin has all four seasons there is always something for you to do. You can go boating, fishing, and hiking in the summer.  When it starts to snow you can switch over to snowmobiling, ice fishing, snowboarding, or whatever your little heart desires. 

You'll also master driving on roads that look like this.

Just listen to me for a second, okay? I know like Wisconsin sounds like an awful place to live, but it’s a great place to find a close community and there is always something to do. 

What I’m trying to say is that things aren't always as bad as they seem.  Wisconsin isn't a frozen tundra with zero life, it’s a place to be adventurous. 

I hope I convinced you about how great Wisconsin is! And yes, I can teach you how to say ‘bag’ and ‘flag’ properly so that you fit in with your soon to be fellow Wisconsinites.  

why it's okay to be single

IT'S REALLY OKAY TO BE SINGLE AND YOU GUYS WON'T UNDERSTAND THIS UNLESS I YELL AT YOU SO THIS IS ME YELLING AT YOU.

written by Kia Lechleitner

[Editor's note: Kia is a professional single who specializes in being super single]


BREAKING NEWS: A horrible disease has broken out.  It is detrimental and most common in teenagers and young adults.  In the scientific community this horrifying disease is also known as thinkingthattheonlythinginlifethatmattersishavingasignificantother and it must be stopped immediately.

You don't need a significant other because:

1) You have too many other things to worry about

Why would you want to waste your time worrying about what your significant other is thinking or doing or what he/she wants for Christmas? I mean come on, you have more important things to worry about.  Your future, your homework, your friends and family, and your favorite show on Netflix all demand your time.  THOSE are the things you should worry about.

2) You can make single jokes

Why wouldn't you grasp another opportunity to try to attempt to be funny?

3) You learn a lot about yourself

Why spend time with your love when you could be spending your time doing much better things.  You could focus on your academics (your homework will never leave you, unlike your special someone), write in your journal, or most importantly, finally clean out the lint from your belly button!!! It doesn't matter what you do as long as it focuses on YOU.  At this age you should be worrying about pleasing yourself and making yourself better (and obviously working on your personal hygiene).

4) You won't get a sore neck

I hate those sore necks that no Advil can help.  You know what can help that neck ache of yours? IF YOU PUT DOWN THE GOSH DARN PHONE.  Stop stressing over whether or not your "boo" is going to text you back and instead live your life (without neck pain).

5) You won't have to be called outrageous names

I don't know about you, but I don't want to be remotely related to any bear, pie, or most importantly, poo.  When you are single you don't have to worry about being called their teddy bear, cutie pie, or sweetie poo (unless you have an overly affectionate grandmother). Most importantly, you are ten times more likely to not be called the infamous "bae".  I mean, I know bacon and eggs are awesome but I thought I was a little better than that.

Don't you hate it when your breakfast is prettier than you?

6) They say love happens when you least expect it

If you sit around waiting to fall in love it's not going to happen.  Instead, enjoy your life.  If it's meant to be the right person will come around and sweep you off your feet when you least expect it.  (I'm totally not expecting it so if you're single and ready to mingle hit me up).

7) If you have a significant other they might bring you flowers

This might not sound like a bad thing, BUT BE WARNED.  You might be deathly allergic to the flowers you get.  And nobody wants to end up suffering from an allergic reaction and dying from the flowers that their special somebody got them. Best way to stop this from happening? Stay single.

I hope you enjoy this awful poem
You're amazing on your own
So to the person you're obsessed with, say goodbye!
After all, nobody wants to get flowers and then die

I'm Actually Not A Car

I was blessed with being named after a car. No really, I'm dead serious.  I love my name.  It's so common in the motor industry world, yet not very common as an actual human name.  I also find it very pretty, if I can get passed the jokes.  I don't know how many times I've been watching t.v. with my family when a commercial to "trade in your Kia now for a brand new car!" has come on.  Having three brothers, you can just imagine all of the crap that I get.

Surprisingly, I often forget that I have the same name as a car.  It's not until I tell somebody my name for the first time that I get the ever so common, "Oh, like the car?!" response.

In my head I'm just like:

But I can't help but laugh because I know that is exactly what I would say if I was in their shoes.   And in all honestly, I don't mind being asked that every single time I meet someone because it means that every single time I meet somebody I will get a good laugh!

More importantly, it's my name and I love it. It's so common yet so unique.  And most importantly, it helps with my online identity.  If you search my first name on Google without knowing how to spell my last name (and this is pretty much everybody since I'm guessing that some of you aren't even sure how to pronounce Lechleitner) all you will get is a bunch of deals on the newest Kia!

 I mean, I wouldn't pass up the great offers if I were you, but if you happen to search my last name as well I'm still super easy to find.  I think this is wonderful since not everything I do online will be easily found, but when need be it won't take somebody hours to find me.



Now, if you happen to spell my last name correctly, what will you find?  And more importantly, what will you think about me?

My Twitter and Facebook seem like any normal account.  I retweet funny, sad, and inspirational tweets.  As for Facebook my use is very limited.  Pictures speak a thousand words, so let's focus on Instagram.  I first started using Instagram a little over a year ago.  Today it is something that I check daily, almost like the newspaper.

As you can see in the picture on the left, I have my twitter name in the bio of my Instagram.  So if you found me on Instagram you could easily find me on Twitter.  Looking through all of my Instagram posts I noticed that I tend to use humor in a lot of my pictures.

I'm notorious for bad puns.

I also enjoy making fun of myself frequently.

Aside from the humor I use, I also have some pretty cool posts, but I might be just a little bit biased. 

Because I may or may not be biased I asked for help from my friends.  

You have to like your friends for being completely honest.  I know I'm a little weird. I mean heck, we all know that there's something strange about me.  I'm just happy that my personality shines through in my use online.  If somebody would ever know how to spell my name correctly when they searched for me then they would definitely be able to see who I am.

Average Blog Post

As most of you probably already know, Twitter is very popular among young adults.  It can help people spread news or share their religious, social, and political views.  I'd like to say my primary use for twitter is to spread my beliefs and learn about the world, but in all honesty I'm a shallow person because I just use it for a good laugh.  But in order to have a funny timeline you need to follow the right accounts. One of the accounts that I follow is called Average Life Goals.

As you can see, this account is very popular.

Average Life Goals, or @AverageGoal, is an account that focuses on......wait for it.....average life goals.  If you're a big player in the social media game then you're aware of the trend of #goals.  People are always posting pictures of what they dream to have one day. 

While I think having goals is a good thing, I personally prefer to have goals that I can actually achieve.

For one, you won't find me in the gym.

Sorry, but I'd prefer not to break his back.

If you search Twitter for #goals you will find anything and everything from relationship, travel, house, and car goals.  The Average Goals account mainly focuses on the house and car goals, making fun of what other people might actually consider to be one of their goals in life.  I think that having a BMW is a lofty goal for myself, but nobody makes fun of my goals.  Somebody coming from a less wealthy background might actually have a lofty goal of owning a 2002 White Kia Spectra, so why is it okay to make fun of their goals? 

Likewise, somebody who might be struggling to make ends meet might be lucky to just have a cell phone plan, even if their phone isn't the newest iPhone.  

By the use of humor the Average Goals account ends up normalizing the degradation of impoverished people.